date a boy who’s an angel. not like when people use angel as a synonym for sweet but a literal angel with six wings and thirty eyes and three heads of different animals. date a boy who uses a flaming sword and has a murderous vengeance that burns even hotter.
remember how sam and dean both thought that the siren infected its victims through sex
and when sam walks into the motel room to find dean with nick-the-siren and dean’s totally under the siren’s control sam just
rolls with it
Dean/Castiel accidental Jehovah’s Witness impersonator AU ficlet – 11.6k, PG13, and I feel like I should have some kind of content warning for secondhand embarrassment
Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. As he hears the synthesised noise echo and jingle through the Winchester house, he takes a second to straighten the lapels of his jacket. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette—
Behind the door, there appears a figure distorted by the foggy glass panes, who shifts and scuffles for a second, and then Castiel only has time to nervously clasp his hands together in front of his body before it opens and the moment is upon him.
The door swings open, and Castiel forgets what he was supposed to say.
A gangly kid in an under-sized baseball jacket blinks at him. “Can I help you?”
This is not Dean. Castiel was meant to see Dean. Is this the right house? Of course it’s the right house; for months Castiel has been shyly watching Dean mow his lawn and maintain his car out on this driveway. This is Dean’s younger brother – they have the same set to their shoulders, the same big hands. Castiel will ask to speak to Dean, or apologise and say that he’ll come back some other time. There’s no reason this has to be a disaster. “I’m Castiel,” he starts.
The boy frowns. “Nice to meet you. I’m Sam.” His hands fidgets on the door-jamb as he waits. “Sorry – do you… need something, or…?”
Castiel panics. He intends to thank Sam for his time, and excuse himself with the request that Sam tell Dean that he dropped by. However, in a crippling moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”